I haven't posted here since February, mainly because my anxiety has been through the roof! I've been a mental freak, stressing and pacing and getting little done with my mind going a million miles a minute. Last week, myself and my daughter drove north to see my family. I stayed for five days and came home; she is still there and will be there for most of this coming week.
It is so quiet in the house. With everything to do, I find myself so free, I'm not sure what to do first. I have a zillion things to catch up on...but being the procrastinator I am, I'm only getting a few things done sporadically done as they strike me. Having said that, I have made some progress on the house. I went garage sale hopping yesterday and picked up a solid wood sofa table in great condition for only $40. I also got a large area rug and a stack of children's books for only $10. The rug was filthy; luckily I'd loaned my mom's carpet shampooer and was able to clean it. That was actually quite a project, but I finished it. Good buys! I also picked up a file box identical to the one I have for $1 and a pair of jeans and boots for only $8.
Now that my little girl is walking well, it should be easier to go to garage sales with her...I won't have to dig out the stroller every stop. I also have some painting I need to do. Eh...how I hate painting. I'm also trying to do the impossible, which is CATCH UP ON LAUNDRY. I don't know that I have ever caught up on laundry since I became a mother. I don't know how people with 6 kids ever got anything done.
In a nutshell, since February I've been a disaster...but a happier disaster. I've blocked the deadbeat's number and have hardly talked to him since March. I'm also awaiting a decision at work that could elevate me to full-time status. I'm technically part-time now, but work full-time hours many weeks. I would love to have the benefits and get myself insured and my daughter off of state care! Any sort of welfare is NOT a permanent option for me. I see the way people look down their noses at anyone who receives assistance and I won't deal with it for the rest of my life. I will defend those who need help, though.
I also printed off an application for the local university. I've had ambitions to go to college for many years and have never followed through. Actually, I was all but accepted to a university weeks before I got pregnant. I abandoned that idea when my daughter's deadbeat promised family and dedication to me. Should have stuck with it and at least earned some credit's while I was pregnant. But for now, if I can even get some general courses in and start working towards that goal, I think I can make a success of myself yet. Never too late to better yourself, right?
So many things to do! So I am going to sign off now and just do one of them. Just one. My daughter should be back here by Saturday, so I'd better take advantage of my quiet time.
